The down and sad emo have last in me for 2 weeks plus now. I don’t know why suddenly I become like that and I don’t know how to put in words to express it out here. The unhappiness definitely is not came from motherhood, many things here and there I just want to shout out, but many of time I has been turn down. All these things have makes me like so long I didn’t get any satisfaction and not to say I have been pampered with words. No one will take my words and I just go about with a hook on my nose.

Why like that? I don’t know. Many of time, I feel I’m very lonely inside and no one care to ask me and overcome with me. Whenever I need help I just feel like I’m so useless which I can’t handle it myself and always need my parents to help me. Can you imagine 2 persons staying in a house is like stranger and every conversation will almost break out in quarrel. There can be no conversation for many days and happy laugh at this home. I don’t know how long I can get hold the patient in me to get things turn out in a better way. We just couldn’t have a good communication and heart-to-heart talk. It is truly an art in every relationship. 2 persons world can’t even blend into one, is just like we are living alone in the same roof. I don’t know what else I can do, all these while I just cry and cry and cry to release my tension and frustration. I seldom pen down my sad feeling in blog as I don’t want the unhappiness moment being recorded and flash back in future reading.

As the month of many wedding bells ringing, I got a very very bad news from my very very close buddy. She got divorced since early of this year. Almost half a year we didn’t contact each other and the moment I got to know this on the phone, immediately I burst out in tears. My dissatisfactions plus the sad news, thats make me so down in my heart till today. They are a very very good couple used to hold me up in my relationship in the past can end up like this. I just couldn’t accept what she is trying to tell me and I started to imagine her situation almost like how it can happen to me one day if the art fails. She is so tough to overcome the situation, as she said the strength to let go is stronger than the strength to stay behind. She is a lone ranger now concentrate on her career and leaving back a daughter. I just feel so sad for her, she can’t get to see her daughter and cry when she sees her photo and miss her.

I just need more quiet time in me now.